Scotland

The first time I accessed a past life, I was a woman called Elspeth, living in Scotland, furiously washing clothes in a lake with my friend. Despite it being a beautiful sunny day, I was surrounded by rolling green, heath-covered hills, I was in a rage, and deeply upset because my husband had been killed by the English.

This catastrophe had left me alone with our baby son called Sam. I had deeply loved my husband, and now I only had two choices. Either become destitute or marry a man I did not like.

I arrived at this place by…

I love my dog Lola. I adore her. She is my favorite thing on the entire planet.

She’s fulfilled my life, given me something to love unconditionally, and gets me out in nature every day. All of this has made me a better, happier, healthier person.

I wrote her story here.

But she’s old.

This past week, she’s been sleeping a lot and I’m worried this is a sign she is slowing down and preparing for… well, I can’t even say it.

For the first time in my life, I want time to slow down. I need to cherish…

And its free.

I’m one of those people who is always looking for ways to improve myself and raise my vibration. I’ll have a go at anything: silent retreats, kundalini yoga, ecstatic dance. If you tell me it will make me feel better, I will try it.

One thing I’ve never managed to crack is an irritating habit of grinding my teeth during the night, which gives me acute jaw pain and headaches.

Relaxation, meditation and yoga, I’ve found can temporarily take the edge off. …

Reality

Three months ago I woke up with a hangover, and decided this would be the very last one.

Merlot had lied to me AGAIN and I’d fallen for it AGAIN.

As usual, I had been lured in by the enticing deep red nectar, that promised relaxation and freedom from boredom. Sophistication in a glass. But yet again I woke up self-loathing and feeling like crap.

That’s it… you’ve drunk your entire lifetime allocation of alcohol and now you have to stop

It was March and despite all intentions to get super healthy starting in January, yet another lockdown had been…

MUSINGS

I have not drunk alcohol for 2 months now and beginning to feel the benefits of a sober life. I’ve got more money, I’m losing weight, and feeling generally a lot more vibrant and healthy. It's a great thing. But do you know what? I’ve only told a handful of people. I’ve deliberately not told certain people in my circle because I already know the responses I will get:

1. You must have a problem with alcohol

Oh No, they will whisper. Did you have a problem with alcohol? Are you seeking help?

Alcohol is the only drug people will ask if you have a problem with it…

Shw did not consent. She made it quite clear to him what her boundaries where. He lied to get consent. Disgusting victim blaming.

#1. Pube Man

I thought I’d earn myself a few quid on Airbnb now my son was an adult. We have a small single-occupancy spare bedroom, and live near a major UK city. I can tell you the experience brought a large amount of drama, nearly a call to the police, a lot of fun, and some great memories.

My 5 most memorable guests:

1. Pube man

I did have some guests that I hardly saw. They would book 1 night for an event. Arrive, drop their things off, go out, get back late and leave the following morning. This was the situation…

Here I was again… about to do something that scares the life out of me. Once you drink, you are at the mercy of Ayahuasca for whatever she decides. Could be the best day of your life, could be the worst.

I’ve never really ‘chosen’ to drink Ayahuasca, but as most people who have taken it will testify, Ayahuasca finds you. And once she has you in her grasp, there’s no escaping.

I wrote about how I first happened upon Aya here. I thought after that first time, I would never have the nerve to drink again… but found myself…